Let’s imagine you are a rebel soldier on the ice planet Hoth deployed along the front line. Your commander has just ordered you to help slow down the imperial AT-AT walkers long enough for General Rieekan and Princess Leia to fire their Ion Cannon. Armed with nothing more than a puny laser rifle, you are…
Tomato Tartare
The 1987 film Wall Street delves into greed, corruption, and the depravity sometimes found in corporate America. The story involves a young stockbroker willing to do anything to get ahead and have a taste of the good life. In one poignant scene, this taste of the good life can be boiled down to one single…
Seitan Kabobs
This time of year, Bananarama would say that “the air is so heavy and dry…this heat has got right out of hand” making it a Cruel Summer. Even Billy Idol agrees that it is “hot in the city tonight.” However, the Power Station would argue that “some like it hot, and some sweat when the…
Grilled Seitan with Mushrooms
I drank my first beer when I was about five years old. You know, nothing cuts the heat and ash from a Weber grill like and icy cold Pabst Blue Ribbon. Yep, it was steak night in our house, and my father and I were on the patio cooking dinner. Now maybe it was the…
Vegan Beef Burgundy
In 1984, I experienced French cuisine for the first time. After a summer abroad in an exchange program, my sister returned home with a couple jars of Dijon mustard and some French guy that occupied my top bunk bed for a month. More on the French guy later, but according to my sister, the French…
Vegan Meatballs
The holiday season is here. Soon the jolly fat man in red will hopefully be coming down my chimney. Meanwhile, there are cookies to bake and ginger bread houses to construct. There is popcorn to thread and carols to sing. There is cake to fruit and nog to egg. There are presents to wrap and…
Vegan Beef Stroganoff
“Twas the night before Thanksgiving, you were alone in the kitchen, You went there to escape all the family bitchin’, Drinking red wine, you were prepping for the big meal, In hopes that “All Vegan” wouldn’t be a big deal. The children were bored and had nothing to play, Uncle Leon just cracked his…
Chickpea Cutlets with Gravy
I remember in fairly vivid detail most of my younger life. Not just the poignant, life-altering stuff, but I can still recall the mundane things such as my best friend Jimmy’s phone number. However, I can’t tell you when I tasted roasted turkey for the first time. Nor can I tell you when I ate…
Pot Roast with Mushroom Gravy
“They’re back!!!” announced the creepy little girl from Poltergeist 2. And yes, just like the movie, they are back. Yep, after you did such a good job last time around, the in-laws are back in town. They just couldn’t wait to try your next vegan creation, so they made a detour on their way home…
Italian Sausages
Real men love processed meats like salami, bacon, bologna, sausage, pepperoni, olive loaf, spam, even Slim Jims. I mean nothing says “male” more than biting into a large meat combo pizza, downing a light beer, and watching football with friends in your man-cave. Hell, you could even cry in front of those friends while talking…