The Big Lasagna
“You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound. A dimension of sight. A dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into… The Twilight Zone.” – Twilight Zone: The Movie 1983
The phone rings. You are busy with other things and leave it alone. The phone rings again. And again. And again. “Why is voice mail not picking up?” you say to yourself. “It is probably a telemarketer,” you think. But the phone keeps ringing. “Okay, okay, I’ll get it,” you mutter to yourself as you race to pick up the phone. Speaking into the receiver, you answer, “Hello, yes, okay, when, tomorrow night? I’ll be ready, of course.” And as you put the phone down, an icy chill runs down your spine. Your hair stands on end. Fear grips your very soul because…
You have just crossed over into the “In-Law” zone. Yes, that fateful phone call was your significant other telling you that their parents along with several members of the extended family will be dropping in. They are going to visit the “World’s Largest Ball of Twine” in Cawker City, Kansas. And they thought they would make a slight detour and pay you all a visit. They will only be staying a couple of days and don’t want you to make too much of a fuss.
But you know your father-in-law gets grumpy if he doesn’t eat at 6:00pm sharp. Uncle Leon is a big old boy who likes to “strap on the ole feedbag.” Aunt Eunice is an extremely picky eater, so what she doesn’t eat, her two teenage sons will. Cousin Betsy rarely eats anything that isn’t fried or covered in cheese. And you know that your mother-in-law disapproves of everything. You don’t even want to get started about last Thanksgiving.
So what are you going to do? How can you make a vegan meal that everyone will like? How can you make enough of it to feed Leon and the boys? How can you possibly impress your mother-in-law? (That last bit requires several trips to therapy) However, I have an answer for you. Most everyone in the known world likes Italian food. So to quell your fears, feed the family, and allow you to survive the “In-Law Zone” I give you not only my version of lasagna but my version of BIG LASAGNA.
Ingredients Instructions First, I apologize for the long list of ingredients and instructions, but it is a BIG LASAGNA after all. After you hang up the phone, soak your cashews overnight in enough water to cover. Wake up, drain your cashews, and get ready to amaze to everyone. Start by preheating your oven to 425 degrees. Cut the heads of garlic in half, and wrap them along with 1-2 tablespoons of vegetable broth in foil. Place these in the oven and put your cherry tomatoes and onion slices on a cookie sheet coated with cooking spray. When your oven is hot, roast everything for 25-30 minutes or until the tomatoes are nice and brown.
As your veggies roast, boil the lasagna noodles according to the package instructions. When cooked, rinse the noodles with lots of cold water to prevent them from sticking together. In three batches, puree your cashews along with a ½ cup of rice milk and lemon juice in a blender or food processor and put the puree in a large mixing bowl. When you get to the last batch of nuts, add in your yeast, entire head of garlic (it should be done by now), remaining rice milk, oregano, and basil. Add this last puree to your bowl and mix to combine. You may need a splash more rice milk to get a nice creamy consistency. Then season to taste with salt and pepper. Place in the frig until you are ready to assemble the lasagna.
Next, place your chickpeas, carrots, and vegetable broth in a large stock pot over medium heat. Bring the mix to a boil then reduce and simmer for about 15 minutes or until most of the liquid has evaporated. Now, place this veggie mix in the blender or food processor along with the roasted onions, remaining head of garlic, and tomatoes. Puree until smooth and put the mix back in the stock pot. To the stock pot, add in your tomato sauce, tomato paste, red wine, and oregano. Mix to combine and bring everything to boil. Reduce the heat to a low simmer and cook for 20-30 minutes.
Drink the remaining wine straight out of the bottle if need be. Then, finish your sauce with the agave syrup, fresh basil, and salt and pepper to taste. Assemble the lasagna with a layer of sauce, noodles, cashew cheese, noodles, sauce, 4 oz. of vegan mozzarella, noodles, sauce, cashew cheese, noodles, and remaining sauce. Cover the dish with foil and bake in a preheated 375 degree oven for 40 minutes. Remove the foil, top with remaining mozzarella cheese and bake for another 20 minutes or until browned on top and bubbling. Remove from the oven and let stand for 10-15 minutes before serving.
Roasted Tomatoes
Toss up a big salad, heat up some crusty bread, and dinner is ready. And I can almost guarantee that the disapproving look on your mother-in-law’s face will not be because she didn’t like dinner. It will be because she didn’t think to make this dish herself. So discreetly hand her my blog address and tell her you can’t wait for Thanksgiving. Longer Letter Later.
Love, Bob aka The Grassfed Carnivore
Leave a Reply