Twas the night of Thanksgiving, you were tired as sh*t,

This family holiday thing, you were so over it.

Again alone in the kitchen, you were searching for a drink,

Perhaps a glass of wine, or something harder you think?

 

You had worked so hard prepping and cooking all day,

That even your cold-hearted mother-in-law had nothing evil to say.

The vegan feast was a success and “everything was delicious,”

However, it is time for the family to go, enough with the well wishes.

 

But as you uncork the wine, in the living room rose such a clatter,

You throw open the kitchen door to see what was the matter.

And what you hear next, makes you shudder with despair,

Ain’t no one leaving, they are all hanging around here.

“What is all this?” you say, “I thought you were going home?”

“I am weary and a touch cranky. I just want to be alone!”

But, Uncle Leon cracks a beer and announces with delight,

“We have all decided to stay through tomorrow night.”

 

Then he continues, “Tomorrow is Black Friday. The mall here has such an array,

Back home, where we live, we don’t have close to this much diversity.”

“Grammy needs a new sweater, and I need new britches without holes,

Aunt Eunice needs a dress, and Peepaw wants a couple fishin’ poles.”

 

Your face turns ghost white and your head starts to throb,

Why don’t they just leave, I am sick of this mob.

But you love your spouse, and this is his family,

You can host them one more day and even do it valiantly.

 

One more day means one more meal and the cupboards are bare,

Don’t worry at all because I have the perfect dish to share.

You have done your spouse a solid, he knows what to do,

Off to the store to purchase the ingredients for my CROCKPOT STEW.

 

Now, Leon! Now, Eunice! Now, Grammy and Peepaw!

On, Junior! On, Laverne! On, your cold-hearted Mother-in-Law.

To the stores, to the malls, to the outlets without haste,

Then hurry back here, there will be delicious vegan stew to taste.

 

The family stayed an extra day, but you will be fine,

Just keep to the kitchen and drink a lot of wine,

I promise they will love the stew and ask for more,

And again I say, “Happy Thanksgiving from the Grassfed Carnivore!”

I find this stew to be filling enough on its own; however, feel free to garnish with hearty slices of brown bread or a fistful of crackers. Either way, the entire crowd will love it. It is simple to prepare, easy to clean up, and hearty enough to satisfy the largest appetites. Best of all, once you put everything into the crockpot, you are free to visit with family, go out for a coffee, see a movie, or crack open a couple bottles of wine. The holidays can be stressful, especially if Leon and the Mother-in-Law stay an extra day. Dinner doesn’t need to be. Enjoy your time away from the kitchen. Happy Thanksgiving. Longer Letter Later.

Love, Bob aka The Grassfed Carnivore