Is there anything better on this planet than the Ronco Rotisserie? Okay, maybe the Pocket Fisherman is a better all-around invention: certainly more portable. But I argue that “Set It and Forget It” is an ingenious example of American ingenuity. There is just something mesmerizing about rotating meat. But wait a minute, this is a vegan blog. No animals should be rotating here. “So where am I going with this one?” you might ask.
Well, meat on a rotisserie intrigues me. I don’t know why. Maybe in a former life, my job was to carefully roast the saber-tooth loin for everyone living in the cave. Maybe I was a scullery maid tending to the animal roast slow cooking over the open hearth for my lord’s banquet. Maybe I was the cook slaving over a camp fire while the cowboys drove in the herd on the open range.
For whatever reason, the idea of cooking something on a spit over an open flame amazes me. And if you turn the meat upright and put a red lamp behind, I am like a moth to a flame. I just can’t take my eyes off it. So, my discussion of revolving meat brings us to GYROS. I was going to say something witty about traveling to Greece; but, oddly enough, this sandwich is another example of American ingenuity.
You see, in BV times (before vegan), I loved gyros. It was the combination of roasted meat on a spit and that creamy cucumber sauce that had me hooked after the first bite. Plus it was served in a warm pita so you could take it with you … the perfect portable meal. However, the meat was always a bit suspect. The conical shape left me wondering what part of the animal it came from.
Well, fast forward to PV times (post vegan), and I still longed for that perfect portable meal. Unfortunately, a gyro was hard to duplicate until I came across something called Seitan. I know it sounds like Satan, and yes it can be devilishly good. But Seitan is basically what vegans the world over call “Wheat Meat.” It is meat made from vital wheat gluten (the stuff they use to make bread). Combined with the right spices and cooking techniques, you can have an awesome vegan gyro in the comfort of your own home.
So I present my version of the vegan GYRO. Sadly, there is no use for the rotisserie in this recipe. So I will just have to watch re-runs of Ron Popeil on late night television while eating this carnilicious dish in my pajamas.
Ingredients
- 2 Cups Vital Wheat Gluten
- 2 Tbs. Flour
- ¼ Cup Nutritional Yeast
- 1 Tsp. Dried Rosemary
- 1 Tsp. Dried Marjoram
- 2 Tsp. Garlic Powder
- 1 Tsp. Onion Powder
- ½ Tsp. Smoked Paprika
- 1 Tsp. Dried Thyme
- 2 Tbs. Fresh Oregano (minced)
- 1 Cup Water
- ¼ Cup Soy Sauce
- ¼ Cup Worcestershire Sauce
- 8 Cups Vegetable Broth
- 2 Cups Water
- 1 Small Onion (sliced thin)
- 5 Garlic Cloves
- 1 Cup White Wine
- 2 Tsp. Liquid Smoke
- ¼ Cup Rice Milk
- ¼ Cup Vegan Mayonnaise
- ¼ Cup Vegan Sour Cream
- 1 Tbs. Red Wine Vinegar
- 1 Tbs. Fresh Dill
- ¼ Cup Cucumber (grated)
- 1 Garlic Clove (minced)
- Salt & Pepper to taste
- 4 Whole Wheat Pitas
- 2 Cups Shredded Lettuce
- 1 Cup Tomatoes (diced)
- 1 Cup Cucumber (diced)
- 4-6 Pepperoncini Peppers (diced) (optional)
Instructions
First of all, take a deep breath as you ponder what you are about to accomplish. You have already made cheese from cashews, tuna from beans, and now you are about to make meat from grain. How freaking cool is that?? So, leaving your cape, top-hat and wand on the counter, bring together all the dry ingredients (gluten, flour, spices, and yeast) for your seitan in a mixing bowl. And go ahead and put back on the cape if you want to…no one is watching, and I don’t judge. I often times wear my cape in the kitchen, and sometimes under my shirt when I go to the store.
Now stir the dry ingredients up and make a well in the center of this mix. Combine your water, soy sauce, and Worcestershire sauce in a separate bowl. Then pour the wet ingredients into this well and mix to combine. At this point, you can knead the mixture by hand. I prefer to put the mix into a standing mixer and let the machines do the work (until they become self-aware). Using my paddle attachment, I beat the dough for 5 minutes.
While your seitan mixes, put your broth, onions, garlic, wine, and liquid smoke in a large stockpot. Bring this mix to a boil, and then reduce the heat to a simmer. Once the seitan is finished mixing, mold the seitan into two log-sized shapes. Place these logs into the simmering broth, cover, and cook for 1 hour. After one hour, check to see if your seitan is floating. If it is, turn off the heat, leave the seitan in the broth, and allow to cool for another 30 minutes. If your seitan is not floating, turn up the heat just a bit and cook a little longer. This process will give you nice and chewy wheat meat.
As your seitan simmers, mix together the ingredients for the Tzatziki Sauce, shred your lettuce, dice your tomatoes and cucumbers, and dice your peppers. Once the seitan has cooled, slice it thinly and place it on a cookie sheet. I like to put these seitan strips under the broiler for about 2-3 minutes to crisp up the edges. Then you just have to fold the strips into the pita, top with sauce, vegetables, and more sauce.
http://www.grassfedcarnivore.com/vegan-gyros/
At this point, dinner is ready. No animals needed to be rotated for you to pull this one off. And feel free to remove your cape; however, the edges work like an awesome napkin if some of the Tzatziki sauce rolls down your chin. Longer Letter Later.
Love, Bob aka The Grassfed Carnivore
mike says
Interesting
Gina says
Can you use something in place of nutritional yeast? I seem to not able to process large amounts of niacin. Can you tell how much niacin is in the nutritional yeast?
Thanks,
Gina
Chefbob says
Gina,
There is a ton of Niacin in Nutritional Yeast. I would just leave it out.